From the get go, You Can’t Handle This Hot Sauce exists to trick you into experiencing pain. It all starts with the name. Sure it says “You can’t Handle This,” but it might well read “What are you, a pussy? I mean seriously, how can you expect to survive this hot sauce, especially while you’re still wearing that tutu?” It doesn’t help that the cartoon character on the bottle looks to be one part Asian stereotype, one part wimpy demon. Either way, he looks like someone who might wet himself before you could even get the chance to punch them out.
The thick, dark brown sauce has the look of what was once a robust barbecue, but has dulled in colored in the last couple of years since it was forgotten in the back corner of the storage space under your kitchen sink.