There are eleven different warnings on the bottle of Ron’s Nuckin’ Futs hot sauce, the largest of which reads: WARNING! USE ONE DROP AT A TIME! Needless to say, I approached this stuff with a healthy mix of anticipation, respect, and reckless abandon.

Its a bit thicker than you’d suspect, pouring slowly out of the bottle. The ingredients list habeneros, pepper extract, citrus, salt and other “spices”, but I think ol’ Ron is being purposefully vague here. Futs has a rich, tantalizing smell that almost makes you wish it wasn’t so hot. Almost.

Tasting solo, the sauce was pure heat. I probably reached for a soothing cup of milk a little too early, but a second try yielded better results. While many sauces boast a certain slow-burn affect, Futs sears your palate first and asks questions later. But the flavor seeps in as you lick your wounds–sweet, smoky, the taste of the vinegar sliding through the fire.

What to do with this kind of Scovie score? I opted for a Bloody Mary, mixing some Three Olives vodka with V8, lemon juice, pepper, and worcestershire sauce, along with the aforementioned Futs, in a shaker. This stuff is so potent, I added a dollop to a spoon and shook off the excess, stirring in the residue.

The result? Only the best Bloody Mary I ever drank. Spicy as hell, with the pleasant lingering aftertaste of Nuckin’ Futs Hot Sauce. I consider myself a connoisseur, so I’m not pitching BS. It was the perfect compliment to the perfect morning after cocktail (unfortunately, I had a not-so-perfect morning after). Nuckin’ Futs will be on hand for many Sunday brunches to come.

What didn’t I do with this stuff? Put it near my eyes, sensitive body parts, pets, or children. Or elderly people, for that matter. This is not for rookies, but I wouldn’t keep anyone from the privelege of a taste. Just make sure they know what to expect.

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