Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce Review

Have you ever noticed that most names of hot sauces have to do either with death or the digestive system? The intent would seem to be to attract a consumer’s attention either through mortal fear or toilet humor. Unfortunately, while such a naming convention is effective at promising pain, it gives few clues as to the actual flavor and character of the product in question.

For some sauces, pure heat is the primary consideration so topics like flavor and character do not always apply. That’s not true, however, for Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce, a truly distinctive hot sauce that, yes, delivers heat but also a whole lot more. Boasting that it “burns both ways” (i.e., coming into and going out of one’s body), Hemorrhoid Helper actually evades the truth in two ways: first, the label’s contention that it “causes more itching, burning and lots of discomfort” is inaccurate (it’s definitely hot but it doesn’t torch your mouth); and second, nowhere does the sauce bottle indicate just how delicious the sauce inside is.

Believe me, I don’t mind that it doesn’t burn the skin off my tongue or that it tastes so good. I only wish it had a name that elevated its brand image because this is a sauce any foodie should want to keep on hand and to use proudly and liberally. This sauce is really good.

The first ingredient is fresh (you’ll see the word “fresh” a lot on the ingredient list; always a good sign) habanero peppers. That ensures the high heat but again, it’s not painfully hot – at least not in my mouth. Red wine vinegar is next, but it’s the four ingredients that follow that make this sauce so unique and successful: fresh lime juice, fresh cilantro, fresh onion, and fresh garlic. These ingredients suggest cuisines from Mexico and Southeast Asia (particularly Thailand and Vietnam).

I first tasted the sauce on its own and really appreciated the blend of citrus and herb, which stood its ground against the strongly flavored peppers, onion, and garlic. Then I used it as a dipping sauce for a baked chicken dish I made with a store-bought Indian cooking sauce. It truly was a party in my mouth, with the Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce complementing the flavor of the Indian spices and kicking the heat up several notches.

The next night, I snuck the bottle into a local Vietnamese noodle restaurant, where I poured about a teaspoon onto a bowl of egg noodles, greens, and grilled beef. The dish came with its own light pepper sauce on the side, which I’ve enjoyed in the past, but the Hemorrhoid Helper really took the whole dish to another level of flavor and complexity. I don’t think I’ll ever go to that restaurant again without a bottle of this sauce.

So while this sauce will neither cause nor exacerbate hemorrhoids, it will certainly help just about any food you try it on. And isn’t that what really counts?

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