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Hottest Hot Sauce Review

The flaming skulls on the bottle of “Hottest Hot Sauce” take me back to the worst nightmares of my childhood. I remember waking up screaming as skeletons chased me down the street and disembodied ghouls rose from the fiery pits of hell determined to take me back with them. Thankfully this sauce is a far more pleasurable experience for my taste buds.

The label includes standard threats that this is the “hottest hot sauce” and that it will “really set your skull on fire.” As a New Englander I appreciate the use of local vernacular on the label claiming that this is a “wicked hot sauce.” Continue Reading

Joe Perry’s Mango Peach Tango Hot Sauce Review

A lot of people know Joe Perry for the sizzling hot guitar leads he lays down in the rock band Aerosmith, but one taste of his Rock Your World Mango Peach Tango Hot sauce will give you something else to think of him for.

I’m a big fan of combining subtle sweetness with heat. Peaches and mangos, which are key ingredients in Joe Perry’s hot sauce, are ideal for this. I opened Joe Perry’s Mango Peach Tango hot sauce with high hopes. I wasn’t let down, folks.

Beginning with the aroma, I knew I was in for a treat. I held the bottle under my nose and inhaled the delicate combination balance of peaches and mangos, complimented by the distinctive smell of fresh Habanero peppers. Continue Reading

Vicious Viper Hot Sauce Review

Deep in the grass, where your momma told you never to go, there lies a predator silently waiting for a victim. Fangs bared, with ample venom to make the kill the Vicious Viper Hot Sauce is ready– and hungry.

The bottle claims that is a sauce not to be messed with lightly. That “you don’t know HOT until you’ve been bitten by the Vicious Viper.” It says this is a food supplement to be taken only one drop at a time. And so I step warily into the grass, forewarned of the dangers that lie before me. I open the bottle to reveal the potent poison within.

The first whiff smells of bananas and fresh Habenero peppers. A subtle fruitiness that draws me closer, begging me to take a taste. Continue Reading

Uncle Brutha’s Hot Sauce No. 10 Review

Uncle Brutha’s Hot Sauce No. 10 has three pepper ingredients, all of them superstars in their own right; Habaneros, red and green jalapenos, and Serrano chilies. Add to that a few unusual ingredients, such as beets, cress, and spinach, and you have a hot sauce blend that can definitely be called unique.

First of all, if heat is what you want, Uncle Brutha’s will make your forehead damp. The cool thing about this heat is that it doesn’t overwhelm the smoky taste of the sauce. The heat factor is about a six on a ten scale, but it’s a slow heat one that teases the tongue and gradually warms your belly.

Continue Reading

The Ghost Hot Sauce Review

Hot sauces with more novelty than quality are a dime a dozen, though it can be hard to tell which is which based solely on the label of the bottle.

Take the Ghost Hot Sauce, for example. Based on the label, it seems like the sauce will actually turn me into a ghost.

In my experience, the more hyperbole that is on the hot sauce bottle, the less impressive it actually tends to be, which is why I was surprised at the incredible amount of pain this sauce is able to induce. Continue Reading

Baboon Ass Habanero Hot Sauce Review

There are just certain phrases a man never expects to hear himself utter. For me, “I’d like a little Baboon Ass, please,” certainly falls into that category of things I never wanted to hear myself say. These days, I say it often, and I say it with pride. The original Baboon Ass Habanero Hot sauce (as if there have been a lot of Baboon Asses to follow) is on my list of hot sauces to keep in stock.

From the instant you open this bottle, you’re drawn into the world of a masterfully crafted hot sauce. The enticing aroma of Habaneros hits you immediately. Continue Reading

Iguana XXX Habanero Pepper Sauce Review

Of all the hot pepper sauces that add carrots for sweetness and color, this just might be my favorite. Iguana XXX Habanero Pepper Sauce has a lot of heat and a lot of flavor, and one never gets sacrificed for the other. It’s fast becoming my preferred brand.

The ingredient list is headlined with the catchy – and true – phrase, “All Killer, No Filler.” Sure enough, there’s nothing here that you need to be a chemist to understand. Fresh ripe habaneros lead the list and the sauce does indeed have a fresh vegetable taste. Then comes carrots, vinegar, onions, lime juice, tomato paste, salt, and garlic. Ascorbic acid (which is simply vitamin C) is used as a preservative. All natural and good for you, too. Continue Reading

Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce Review

You remember that scene from Spinal Tap, where Christopher Guest’s character Nigel Tufnel is showing off his amp that goes to 11? Most amps, of course, only go to 10, but Nigel proudly states that his goes “one louder.” The joke is that the loudest is whatever the top number is, whether it’s 10 or 11; the only reason to make it 11 is to be different. And maybe just a little louder.

That’s kind of what Dave’s Gourmet has done. Its Dave’s Insanity Hot Sauce bills itself as “the hottest sauce in the universe.” So where do you go from there? You guessed it: to 11. Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce also bills itself as “the hottest sauce in the universe.” And guess what? It’s definitely one louder….er, hotter. Actually, it may even be two or three hotter. Continue Reading

Scorpion Xtreme Hot Sauce Review

I should have exercised more caution. Anything that comes in a brown bottle and looks like medicine may be something to be careful about.   The ingredients fooled me, though: soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, raisins, garlic, and cinnamon. It almost sounds like A-1 Steak Sauce, minus the cinnamon.

What I underestimated in Scorpion Xtreme Hot Sauce was the potency of an ingredient I left out — chili extract. We’re not talking about chili peppers here. Continue Reading

Blair’s MegaDeath Hot Sauce Review

Even though the name implies otherwise, you will definitely feel alive after even just the smallest amount of Blair’s Mega Death Hot Sauce. This is one of the hottest sauces on the market but not the spiciest for Blair’s which claims their Ultra Death is even hotter.

The bottle comes in a box and contains Blair’s signature skull keychain, which is proof positive that you survived death. The warning label proclaims, “Be warned: this sauce contains ingredients 500 times hotter than a jalapeno chile. Use sparingly. Not recommended for use without dilution.” Continue Reading

Ass Whoopin’ Redneck Hot Sauce Review

There are stereotypes and then there’s Ass Whoopin’ Redneck Sauce which features the confederate flag emblazoned on a wood patterned label. In keeping with the Dukes of Hazard theme the label is also riddled with bullet holes and written in southern drawl.

The sauce has the consistency of cream and smells like slightly sweet buffalo wings. Even though the bottle claims it to be “some hot shit y’all,” and its first ingredient is habenero peppers, I wasn’t convinced that this was dangerous stuff. The confederacy lost the Civil War, how strong could this sauce be right? Continue Reading

Iguana Smoky Chipotle Pepper Sauce Review

A deep reddish brown sauce in a bottle with an angry looking iguana smoking a cigar and wearing a military uniform must yield an interesting product, right? The tagline reads “Smoky, Savory, & Sort’a Hot”. Is it smoky? Yes. Is it savory? A little. Is it hot? No. Well, my grandma might think it is hot, but she also thinks that bell peppers offer a ‘kick’, so I’m not taking her advice on this one.

The first smell of the Iguana Smoky Chipotle Pepper Sauce makes you smell it again. What is that smell? A few more sniffs reveal hints of a Worcestershire-sauce type smell (methinks it could be the ‘artificial smoke flavoring’ listed in the ingredients). Overtones of oregano are also discernable. Continue Reading

Fire Ant Juice Hot Sauce Review

The label on the fire ant juice hot sauce bottle transports you into a scene from a 1950’s sci-fi  flick, portraying a hapless victim & an eight foot fire ant. It might not be a bad idea to keep your local national guard unit and/or haz-mat crew on speed dial, just in case. . .

Ever sat your posterior down on what looked like a nice soft mound of earth in say, south carolina or thereabouts?  You may have soon received a less than hospitable welcome from the local inhabitants ! ! !  An example of the above  mentioned inhabitant is glued to the neck of each bottle of fire ant juice, presumably  to make for easier identification by any first responders or your next of kin, if necessary. Continue Reading

Another Bloody Day in Paradise Hot Sauce Review

When I was a kid my friends and I used to play a game where we would go into a bathroom, turn off the lights, and chant “Bloody Mary” three times in front of a mirror, testing the legend that a ghastly image would appear in the reflection. Nothing ever happened, and as it turns out the fear was far more potent than the outcome.

Another Bloody Day in Paradise Hot Sauce” has a similar affect on my taste buds. I want it to scare the crap out of me, but it ends up causing little more than a slow building burn. Continue Reading

Blair’s Pure Death Hot Sauce Review

Although the label does feature a skull surrounded by fire, compared to most other hot sauces, the design comes off as that of a no-frills sauce that is not interested in overselling itself. Full disclosure: Blair’s Pure Death Hot Sauce comes with a free dangling skull key chain, which is one of the easiest ways to get a positive review from me.

That being said, the smell gives off an acidic, tomatoey essence despite completely lacking the fruit. Instead, the sauce contains Habanero Chili Pods, Naga Jolokia, Vinegar and Hawaiian red salt. Continue Reading

Bee Sting Mango Passion Pepper Sauce Review

Bee Sting Mango Passion Pepper Sauce is accurate in placing the two fruits in the sauce’s name before the pepper, as you enjoy the fruity sweetness before you ever get to the extremely mild burn of the habaneros, which account for such a small portion of the sauce that they are listed ninth on the ingredient list.

Based on the label, all I can assume is that a deranged bee was used in the creation of this sauce, which might have made the sauce more interesting. Continue Reading

Uncle Brutha’s Fire Sauce No. 9 Review

I’d been eagerly eyeballing my bottle of Uncle Brutha’s Fire Sauce No. 9 sauce all week, mapping out what recipes I could brew up to put it to use. It’s packaged in a small, sophisticated looking bottle with a stately illustration of whom I can only imagine is Uncle Brutha himself. He is smiling at me confidently, knowing I will try and love his delicious product. I will cook something very good to use your sauce with, I responded telepathically. Uncle Brutha, I let you down, but you certainly came through for me. Continue Reading

Da Bomb Beyond Insanity Hot Sauce Review

I just discovered a new way to lose weight. It’s called the Da Bomb Diet, and it features Da Bomb Beyond Insanity hot sauce. You see, I read recently that a lot of overweight people eat too fast, and therefore their bodies don’t have a chance to register the sensation of feeling full, which means that fast eaters also tend to eat too much. Da Bomb solves that problem by making a sauce so insanely hot that you can’t help but eat any food touched by it extremely slowly.

Da Bomb makes a couple of varieties of hot sauce; Beyond Insanity likely is a shot at Dave’s Insanity, which can also be used as a weapon of sorts. Continue Reading

MJ’s Kick Ass Hot Sauce Review

The first thing I’ll say about MJ’s Kick Ass Hot Sauce is that it’s made in Somerville, Massachusetts, which is also home to my favorite barbecue restaurant, Redbones. To my knowledge, there’s no connection between the two, but there should be. This is a rich, very full-flavored sauce that is all about making good food better.

The ingredients themselves suggest that MJ is a true foodie. First on the list is green habanero pepper instead of the more typical red and orange ones. That’s followed by white onion (which is distinctly sharper than yellow onion), cilantro, garlic, rice vinegar, lime juice, Worcestershire sauce, oregano, garlic powder, and smoked paprika. Continue Reading

Ass in Antarctica Hot Sauce Review

The sauce is a thin, orangey-red color, similar to how tomato soup looks, yet it coats very well. There is actually no tomatoes in the sauce.

When smelling Ass in Antarctica Hot Sauce, it is easy to detect slight citrus notes, and very little else. There are hints of staleness, much like that of dried, crushed peppers that have been in storage for far too long, but you can’t bring yourself to trash it, since the cayenne, despite the staleness will most likely retain its heat, and really the heat is one of the cayenne peppers few redeeming values. Continue Reading

Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce Review

The Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce label features a stereotypical Jamaican man — complete with tie-dye shirt, flip flops and dreads — eyes bulging in shock as he leaps away from a campfire that has lit the seat of his cut-off shorts on fire. The front of the label warns us that the sauce is made with habanero peppers and includes the phrase, “Dis stuff really hot mon!” — presumably the words of our fiery friend.  While it is quite colorful and eye-catching, I give the label a 2, largely because I did not find it to be a very accurate description of what one should expect from this sauce. Continue Reading

Idiot Boyz Habanero Hot Sauce Review

I thought Idiot Boyz Habanero Hot Sauce was just another oddly named pepper sauce angling for attention on a crowded store shelf. Then I tasted it and understood that the name is perfectly apt — because you’re an idiot if you underestimate both the flavor and the savage afterburn that this sauce delivers.

I took my customary initial taste by putting a drop on my finger and licking it off. “Ooh, now that’s hot!” was my first reaction. It really is a fiery concoction, featuring not only habaneros but also chile extract (the appearance of any pepper extract ensures a painful experience). Then the flavor came in, thanks to a nice combination of lime juice, onion, and garlic (which were prominent), and evaporated cane juice, which delivered a subtle sweetness that just barely broke through the heat. Continue Reading

Mad Dog 357 Hot Sauce Review

If you’re looking at a bottle of Mad Dog 357 Hot Sauce, you’re staring down the barrel of a 357 — literally. That’s what’s on the label, along with a few “bullet holes” and several warning and disclaimers. Not to mention the notification that this sauce reaches 357,000 on the Scoville scale.

As much as I love hot sauce, “This Sauce Is Very Hot — Use It At Your Own Risk” is a warning I take seriously. A quick scan of the ingredients reveals that both habanero and cayenne peppers lurk within — a warning in and of itself. A closer inspection reveals that the cayenne peppers are 160,000 on the Scoville scale. Continue Reading

Goin’ Bananas Hot Sauce Review

Goin’ Bananas hot sauce” advertises itself as a medium hot, Caribbean inspired sauce made with ingredients like bananas, raisins, Worcestershire sauce, and honey.  Because I enjoy all of these things, I was more than excited to test this puppy out.  

The label is a vibrant splash of color showcasing a charming cartoon of Carmen Banana, the mascot for the Key West brand.  Looking as beautiful as a banana can when dressed in an elaborate hat, a string of beads, and make-up, Carmen claims the sauce to be “a delight with chicken, burgers, ice cream, seafood — and GREAT as a grill sauce!”  While initially intrigued to follow Carmen’s advice and try it on ice cream, it was 9:30 in the morning when I first broke the safety seal, so I opted for starting instead with topping my eggs. Continue Reading

Nuckin’ Futs Hot Sauce Review

There are eleven different warnings on the bottle of Ron’s Nuckin’ Futs hot sauce, the largest of which reads: WARNING! USE ONE DROP AT A TIME! Needless to say, I approached this stuff with a healthy mix of anticipation, respect, and reckless abandon.

Its a bit thicker than you’d suspect, pouring slowly out of the bottle. The ingredients list habeneros, pepper extract, citrus, salt and other “spices”, but I think ol’ Ron is being purposefully vague here. Futs has a rich, tantalizing smell that almost makes you wish it wasn’t so hot. Almost. Continue Reading

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