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Mountain Man Roasted Habanero Sauce Review

The Mountain Man sauces never cease to amaze me. I’m a big fan. I’ve tried several and have never been disappointed. The Mountain Man Fire Roasted Habanero Hot Sauce is one of my favorites of the batch and definitely one of the hottest.

There’s very little to get between you and the wood-roasted habaneros that make up the bulk of Mountain Man Fire Roasted Habanero Sauce flavor.  Throw in a little red wine vinegar and a pinch of salt. That’s about it. What you get here is a sauce that has a rich, deep reddish-brown color, and enticing smoky hot aroma, and bits of charred habanero with some seeds thrown in for good measure. One whiff will make your mouth water and your forehead damp. Continue Reading

Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Boneyard Brew Hot Sauce Review

Generally when famous people put their name and face to a product the result is little more than humorous. The George Forman grill for example, or Bob Dole hocking Viagra. So when I received a bottle of Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Boneyard Brew Hot Sauce I was prepared for worst–and in for a severe shock. Perry’s sauce is one of the best tasting hot sauces I’ve sampled in recent memory.

The sauce comes in miniature flask with a picture of Perry firing off an epic riff on the guitar. The bottle boasts no grandiose claims of sever pain within, no warnings to use with care. Its actually refreshing that a sauce that average taste buds would find fiery isn’t playing up the fear factor. Continue Reading

Widows No Survivors Hot Sauce Review

The bottle design of Widow’s No Survivors Hot Sauce is awesome. There’s a plastic black widow attached to the neck, daring you to open this bottle of sauce and give it a try. The name of the sauce is written in big blood red letters, along with a cute little tag line that read No Survivors. Maybe that’s part of the sauce’s name. I can’t really tell and it really doesn’t matter. What matters is the way this sauce tastes and the way it makes you feel.

First of all, Widow’s No Survivors Hot Sauce follows in the footsteps of some of those one-drop sauces that knock you on your butt with a tiny taste. I put a drop on my finger and was immediately bitten by the heat. It gave my tongue a pretty good scorch and I felt it burning its way down my throat and spreading through my belly like a raging fire. Continue Reading

Pain 100% Hot Sauce Review

Ergonomically designed to fit snug against the body, the hip flask allows its wearer to surreptitiously imbibe at a moment of absolute need. In the 1920’s it helped thirsty Americans stave off sobriety during prohibition. Its contents became happiness during the depression, anesthetic in war, and courage in peace. So in many ways its perfectly appropriate that this vessel of vice be re-purposed to help fuel another mind altering addiction: hot sauce.

Pain 100% comes packaged in just such a flask. An elegant glass bottle filled with a thick concoction as dangerous, and euphoric as the liquor it once held. Continue Reading

Dave’s Total Insanity Hot Sauce Review

When you open a bottle of Dave’s Total Insanity Hot Sauce, the heat immediately hits your nose and lights a fire, and then you know that this sauce is not for the weak—it’s for chile heads. The heat is not the only thing that your nose will notice. Dave’s Total Insanity Sauce is made of red chiles, vinegar and a hint of garlic.

Dave’s Total Insanity Hot Sauce tastes of red chiles, lime juice, garlic, onions, tomato sauce and vinegar. But the real star is the heat, an intense, sweating heat that stays around for a long time. The heat is provided by red chiles and hot pepper extract. Continue Reading

Sauce Bitch Hot Sauce Review

Sauce Bitch is another sweet and spicy sauce that falls into the category of what I like to call exotics. Whenever there’s a combination of fruity ingredients with one of the top-notch heat peppers, I get goose bumps. I can almost always count on it being good, and that’s the case with this one.

Sauce Bitch is an exquisite combination of habaneros, pineapples, oranges, mangos, and raisins that delivers a satisfyingly sweet taste with an undercurrent of heat. The first shot of this sauce won’t burn your mouth. It’s one of those build-up numbers that gets increasingly warmer as you eat more. It never reaches the kind of heat level that will have you stuffing bread in your mouth or downing half a gallon of milk, though. Continue Reading

Fear Hot Sauce Review

The disturbing image of a ghostly alien face on the black label of Fear Hot Sauce could be a freeze-frame from a horror flick. Blood drips slowly from the top of the forehead down to the cleft of the chin. But the terror doesn’t end there. Even the typeface on the bottle would look at home on the cover of a horror rental.

In case you’ve never experienced fear, the label includes a tidy definition of the feeling describing it as “a response to a specific stimulus such as pain, or the threat of pain.” Then for good measure they taunt you: “don’t be scared!!!”  In case you think these guys are all shock and no awe, the first ingredient of Fear Hot Sauce is the one and only Naga Jolokia pepper. Continue Reading

Mad Dog 357 Mustard Sauce Review

I get the impression that Mad Dog 357 Mustard Sauce uses its goofy yellow dog much in the same way a wolf might don sheep’s wool. I look at his stupid grin and the chef’s hat with flames and I can’t take him seriously.

The only time I ever see flames on clothing is when they’re being worn by some poser douche bag who spends too much money at Hot Topic, so I wasn’t expecting to be impressed by Jokey yellow dog and his silly mustard sauce. Mistake number one.

The yellow dog who appears to have an access of neck hair, returns on the label of Mad Dog 357 Mustard Sauce, which is a thick, brownish-yellow concoction. Continue Reading

Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally Hot Sauce Review

Of all the humorous hot sauce titles I’ve come across in my day, Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally might be my personal favorite. In summery the story behind the name goes as follows: a bully named Chet, who committed unspeakable acts, was surreptitiously slipped a dose of hot sauce that burned so bad he exclaimed, you guessed it: “ well smack my ass and call me Sally.” Now thanks to the wonders of mass production, you too can feel Chet’s pain and maybe if your lucky scream hilarious things.

Tijuana Flats Hot Foods Inc. puts out an entire line of sauces under that name and they range from exceedingly dangerous to relatively mild. Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally Hot Sauce is the original, Continue Reading

Ass Reaper Hot Sauce Review

As my mother would say, I’ma gonna give it to ya straight: Ass Reaper Hot Sauce is one of the hottest sauces I’ve ever experienced.  No, not THE hottest sauce, but as of right now, it’s in my top three.  Your first clue as to what’s to come is that the Ass Reaper Hot Sauce bottle comes dressed as the Grimm Reaper, with a white skull mask and a hooded robe tied to the neck of the bottle.  Just in time for Halloween?  Not a chance.  Wicked ominous?  Definitely.

The label is a simple design, a black background with white and red text.  The body of a skeleton takes up the majority of space, with “Ass Reaper” scrawled in red across the bony pelvis.  Continue Reading

Buhba’s Butt Blaster X-Hot Sauce Review

Oh to be responsible for the creation of witty hot sauce brand titles!  The label for Buhba’s Butt Blaster X-Hot Sauce immediately appealed to my immature sense of humor while also causing me to roll my eyes.  The colorful cartoon label shows a boy sitting in an outhouse, steam coming out of his ears and eyes bugging out of his head, presumably due to the hotness of the liquid and his body’s reaction to the spicy “temperature.”

A mustard sauce with a thick consistency (I immediately thought of a curry sauce’s texture), a few drops of Buhba’s Butt Blaster X-Hot Sauce immediately produces a fiery taste that shoots through the sinuses.  I first tested the sauce using some left over crust from a by-gone cheese pizza Continue Reading

Charlie’s Hard Times Hot Sauce Review

The shtick behind Charlie’s Hard Times Hot Sauce is that in these trying economic times, one shouldn’t have to settle or compromise in order to afford and enjoy their hot sauce.  I immediately liked where this was going.  “Don’t wait for the government to give you a bailout,” proclaimed the label.  “Bailout your bored taste buds with this sauce!”  The label features a broke broker drawn in an abstract style and a short narrative detailing that the products were designed to keep everyone in the sauce “until we get through this mess.”

Of course, some people might remember that “Hard Times” is a novel written by Charles Dickens, making this English major laugh at the down trodden figure front and center on the bottle’s label.  Continue Reading

Matteo’s Red Headed Step Sauce Review

Matteo’s Red Headed Step Sauce is truly a one-of-a-kind tasting hot sauce. Greenish brown in color, infused with large chunks of ingredients, and easily pourable, Red Headed Step Sauce is like salsa in a bottle.

The ingredients include tomato juice, roasted jalpeno peppers, red wine vinegar, onions, carrots, lime juice, red chili peppers, garlic, and olive oil. Don’t let the inclusion of two types of peppers fool you, though. Red Headed Step Sauce is extremely mild with a fresh taste. While you won’t be using it to heat anything up, it will make an enjoyable addition to chip dip or any Mexican cosine. Continue Reading

Toxic Waste Hot Sauce Review

Okay, so there wasn’t a whole lot of thinking going on this morning. I opened a bottle of Toxic Waste Hot Sauce, thinking I wanted to scramble some eggs and add a healthy dose of hot sauce to the mix. What chili head doesn’t love a shot of heat with his eggs?

The problem is, I don’t think well before I have at least a pot of coffee in me, and I hadn’t had my first cup yet, so I had no business playing with the Toxic Waste Hot Sauce. The scrambled eggs were in the pan. I was about to add the Toxic Waste, but before I did, I poured a quarter-size shot on a spoon and put it in my mouth. I wasn’t thinking, like I said, or the name Toxic Waste might have warned me. Continue Reading

Big Hot One Hot Sauce Review

Big Hot One Hot Sauce – Well now lets see… How many implicitly pornographic phrases can you have on a single 5-oz. hot-sauce bottle?

Let’s count shall we?

  1. The Big Hot One (3 times);
  2. blow your mind;
  3. how much can you swallow?
  4. slide this between your lips
  5. take a big swallow Continue Reading

Dave’s Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce Review

I won’t bore you with the long and storied history of Dave’s Insanity sauces, but suffice to say that they are the stuff of legend. While other companies resort to cute names and over the top scare tactics to sell their sauces, Dave’s sells on reputation alone.

Dave’s Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce is bottled in the usual way. As always the label focuses on an ironic picture of a pepper sunning itself on the beach, but this time it’s brought a friend: the floating translucent ghost of peppers past. While the label it warns that it may injure those with heart problems, and that it moonlights as a grease remover, the design itself is rather jaunty and cheerful. Continue Reading

Crazy Mother Pucker’s Habitual Jalapeno Hot Sauce Review

I’m a big fan of the creative use of alcohol beverages to enhance the flavor of hot sauces. Crazy Mother Pucker’s Habitual Jalapeno hot sauce contains tequila, and there couldn’t be a better combination than jalapeno peppers and strong tequila.

Before I even looked at the ingredients, I gave this one a taste straight from the bottle. The first thing that struck me was the overwhelming taste of alcohol. The presence of tequila is so strong in this mix, I believe you could get drunk on a bottle of it. The thing is, while the tequila is a big part of the flavor, the jalapenos jump right in there, using the tequila base to create a flavor explosion in your mouth.
Continue Reading

Irish Scream Hot Sauce Review

I’m not Irish, but I love a lot of Irish things, including Irish music, Irish stout, and Irish whiskey. And now, Irish Scream Hot Sauce. Which, as it turns out, contains Irish whiskey, so it’s kind of like killing two brogues with one stone.

Though Irish Scream Hot Sauce contains whiskey (just “a wee bit”), and its pepper components are jalapenos and unnamed chiles, the predominant flavor is the richly aromatic tang of red wine vinegar. The sourness is tempered, however, by honey and brown sugar, though the heat does burst through with lip-tingling power.
Continue Reading

Green Bandit Cilantro Habanero Hot Sauce Review

The Green Hornet, Green Lantern, and Green Arrow were all crime fighters. But they won’t be the only ones going after Green Bandit Cilantro Habanero Hot Sauce. This mild pepper concoction will win fans easily with its good taste, even if a bandit is traditionally a bad guy.

Though Green Bandit hot sauce features the habanero pepper, its primary ingredient after filtered water is cilantro. This accounts for the sauce’s dark green color. In addition, I wonder if green habaneros are used – not only are they milder than ripe red and orange habaneros, but they also would blend into the primary color scheme of the sauce. Apple cider vinegar and lemon juice concentrate add sour notes, while ginger and garlic powder are responsible for the touch of spice. Continue Reading

Liquid Stoopid Hot Sauce Review

Some sauces aim to cause pain, others diarrhea, Cajohn’s Liquid Stoopid Hot Sauce has loftier goals: to turn us all into blithering idiots.

As a journalist I’ve always valued intelligence. I spent 18 years and $100,000 on school to escape the gnarly claws of ignorance. Now I’m faced with a sauce that promises a single drop will unravel all my hard work.

They say this stuff could turn Plato into Paris Hilton, and Einstein into Elmer Fudd.  They say that a single drop could render me dumb as a tabloid reporter.

Continue Reading

Georgia Peach and Vidalia Onion Hot Sauce Review

Georgia Peach and Vidalia Onion Hot Sauce is incredibly sweet. Georgia peaches and Vidalia onions make up the bulk of the flavor, with the onion kicking up the lead. Red chili puree, jalapeno peppers, and cayenne peppers provide the very minimal warm undertone of the sauce. If you’re looking for something hot enough to blow your mind, you won’t find it here. This is a sauce almost anyone can enjoy, providing they enjoy the taste of peach and onion.

The sauce has an extremely sweet scent and a beautiful red appearance. It pours nicely and has a texture made up primarily of minced onion you can actually bite into. Continue Reading

Marie Sharp’s Habanero Pepper Sauce Review

I’m in Love. Kiss me Marie. Kiss me again. And again. And again.  The last words of the descriptive on her Marie Sharp’s Habanero Pepper Sauce bottle says it all: “She has Succeeded”. Why? Because she does it the right way. In a small operation in some obscure yet fertile valley in Belize. This is Carib Sauce at it’s finest.

Full disclosure: I cut my hot-sauce teeth on the home-made, wild-and-crazy hot sauces of the islands in the Caribbean Sea. I once had a collection of 30. All colors, all presented in things like cough syrup and ketchup bottles. The “Evil Yellow” from Grenada in a Gordon’s Gin bottle (no shit).  Continue Reading

Ahrun’s Famous Voo Doo Magic Review

Winner of the 2004 International Fiery Food Challenge, VooDoo Magic Hot Sauce is the creation of Chef Ahrun.  On the bottle’s label, two skeletons dance around three red chilies on a floor of flames, while behind the text is what appears to be a piece of burlap, representing the “Voo Doo” theme well.

The label for VooDoo Magic also boasts a number of clever catch phrases, including the statement “sweet …with the heat,” and my personal favorite, “shake to wake.”  How clever, I remember thinking as I tossed a burger onto the grill.

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Dave’s Ghost Pepper Sauce Review

Naga Jolokia, also known as the Ghost Pepper, is the foundation of Dave’s Ghost Pepper Sauce, and trust me, it’s nothing to play with. The label sports the tag line, So Hot It’s Spooky, and I couldn’t think of a more fitting tag line. Not much comes between you and the dangerously intense heat of the Naga Jolokia peppers (twice as hot as the Red Savina Habaneros, often weighing in at over a million Scoville heat units). There’s a little roasted garlic puree and some hot pepper extract (as if that was even needed).

The label informs us that Dave’s Ghost Pepper Sauce makes a great industrial cleaner and grease remover. Continue Reading

Dave’s Hurtin’ Jalapeno Hot Sauce Review

Dave’s Gourmet, the maker of Dave’s Hurtin’ Jalapeno, began at the restaurant Burrito Madness with the invention of super hot Dave’s Insanity Sauce.  Soon Dave’s Gourmet was producing sauces that ranged from mild to “insanely hot,” and have since won numerous awards, including eleven from the prestigious National Association for the Specialty Food Trade.

First, the label for Dave’s Hurtin’ Jalapeno: the little red pepper roasting on a beach blanket in the sun gave me a chuckle, and the color scheme on the label was not at all obnoxious or loud.  Continue Reading

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