Wimp Retardant Hot Sauce – Actually, the full name of this sauce is Professor Payne Indeass’s Butt Blazin’ Recipe #3 Wimp Retardant Hot Sauce, but that seemed like an awfully long title for a review. The old-timey label features a man, presumably Professor Payne Indeass (get it?) himself, arms outstretched with a bottle in his hand, a top hat on his head, and his mouth open wide. I can just imagine him saying “Step right up…” A crowd gathers around the edges of what appears to be a picture frame. I like that the label leaves about an inch and a half of the back of the bottle uncovered so that you can easily see the pepper seeds floating around inside. I rate the old-fashioned packaging 5/5. It creates the feel they seem to be going for.

Habanero peppers are the first ingredient. Continue Reading

Ingredients:

• 2 (3 pound) whole chickens, cut into pieces
• 3 quarts water
• 3 onions, minced
• 1 cup chopped celery
• 2 1/2 tablespoons salt
• 1 1/4 teaspoons ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 10 ears fresh corn
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup milk Continue Reading
  

The label of Smoky Iguana Chipotle Pepper Sauce features a rare sight: an iguana smoking a cigar — in camouflage, no less. He is climbing onto a rock, apparently leaving the flames of battle behind him, as he smokes his victory cigar. His name is Iggy, of course, and there is a cute little story about his adventures on the side of the bottle. The slogan tells us, “It’s so good, it’s smokin’.” Aside from the implied heat of the flames on the label, this sauce makes no claims of extreme heat. It even describes itself as “Smoky, savory and sort’a hot.” When so many milder sauces seem to feel the need to describe themselves as the hottest stuff on the planet, such honesty is refreshing. I freely give this label 5/5 for its creativity. Continue Reading

Ingredients:
4 serrano chiles, stems and seeds removed, chopped
3 teaspoons liquid hot sauce
2 avocados, peeled and pitted
2 tablespoons chopped onion
1/2 teaspoon chopped garlic

Directions:
Place all ingredients in a blender and pure until smooth.

Widow Hot Sauce – First of all, if you have forgotten what the bottle looked like when you placed your order, you will likely be quite startled as, while unpacking your order, you find a big black spider on the bottle. Not on the label — on the bottle! It’s plastic, of course, but the two seconds it took me to process that fact were quite disturbing. The yellow, black, and red label also features a black widow — with the distinguishing red hourglass on her belly — sitting in a web. Blood drips from both her fangs and from the words “Widow” and “No Survivors.” There is also a warning that reads, “Extremely HOT SAUCE. Use one drop at a time!” I give the dramatic, attention-getting label 5/5. You really can’t help but notice it — and perhaps wonder whether you are up to the challenge. Continue Reading

Ingredients:

• 50 to 60 dried chiles de Arbol peppers
• 1 1/2 tablespoons sesame seeds
• 2 tablespoons shelled pumpkin seeds
• 1/4 teaspoon cumin seeds or 1/4 teaspoon groun
• 1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
• 2 cloves
• 1 teaspoon dried Mexican oregano
• 1 scant teaspoon salt
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and roughly chopped
• 3/4 cup cider vinegar

Directions: Continue Reading

Mountain Man Roasted Corn, Garlic, and Chipotle Sauce – This Mountain Man sauce is everything you’d expected from the finely crafted sauces Mountain Man puts out. Those sauces include Mountain Man Garlic Pepper Sauce and Mountain Man Roasted habanero Sauce. Mountain Man sauces are exquisite blends of ingredients and unique flavors to tickle the palate. I mean, really, give me a break. Just take a look at the name of this sauce. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

Apple cider, vinegar, chipotle peppers,  roasted corn, tomato puree, molasses, garlic, salt, and brown sugar. Continue Reading

Dave’s Gourmet Badlands Barbeque Sauce – Usually, when I’m about to taste a product by Dave’s Gourmet, I take some preparations. I have 911 on speed dial, I keep a large glass of iced tea handy, and I make sure no one is around to hear me scream and see me cry. So I was surprised to find that after tasting Dave’s Gourmet Badlands Barbeque Sauce, no trips to ER would be necessary.

To be fair, the label indicates in two places that Badlands Barbeque is not as much about heat as it is about flavor. And there it definitely has plenty. Continue Reading

Ingredients:

• 3 tbsp. cider vinegar
• 2 tbsp. soy sauce
• 1/3 c. reserved pineapple juice
• 2 tbsp. vegetable oil
• 2 tsp. prepared horseradish
• 1 tsp. minced garlic
• 2 1/2 lb. chicken wings, cut-up

Sauce:

• 2 (8 oz.) cans crushed pineapple, drained (reserve juice for marinade)
• 1/2 c. honey
• 1 tbsp. cornstarch Continue Reading
  

Ingredients:

• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
• 1 (10 ounce) can chicken, drained
• 1 cup ranch dressing
• ¾ cup hot sauce
• shredded cheddar cheese
• Tortilla chips

Directions:

• Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. In a bowl beat cream cheese, ranch dressing and hot sauce until smooth.
• Add in chicken.
• Spray a pie plate with cooking spray and pour the chicken mixture into it.
• Place into the oven and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.
• Remove from the oven and add cheddar cheese on top. Bake for an additional 10-15 minutes. Serve hot.

Demon Pig Blaze Orange BBQ Sauce – The blue pig with the devil horns and tail on the label of Demon Pig Blaze Orange BBQ Sauce is one ugly specimen of swine. But all is forgiven, because the sauce inside the bottle is so good I feel like I could roll around in it like an oinker in a mud puddle. On second thought, that might be such a good idea since this sauce has some serious spice to it and that might irritate my gentle bits.

Of course, I’m a fan of the regular Demon Pig BBQ Sauce anyway, so when I saw “Blaze Orange” I was thinking “just as good, only better!” And I was right. Continue Reading

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup bottled apple butter
• 1/3 cup Catalina dressing
• 1/3 cup catsup
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients. This will keep in the refrigerator for a few weeks or may be frozen. The recipe can easily be doubled or tripled.

According to R.B Srivastava, director of Defense Research Lab of India, the thumb-sized bhut jolokia chilies or sometimes referred to as ghost peppers are strong enough to be used in pepper sprays. It is even used for stopping riots in Israel and the US.

It is grown and cultivated in the northeast part of India. It got recognition after receiving the “world’s hottest” tag from Guinness Book of World Records. Ananta Saikia, lone exporter of this pepper opines that workers are required to wear face masks, safety glasses, protective outfits and helmets while packing it. He exports the pepper to Germany, US and England and anticipates the yearly sales to increase 500% this year. Continue Reading

Ingredients:

• 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
• 20 fresh jalapeno peppers, sliced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup minced onion
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups water
• 1 cup distilled white vinegar

Directions:

1. In a medium glass or enamel lined sauce pan over high heat, combine oil, peppers, garlic, onion and salt; saute for 4 minutes. Add the water and cook for 20 minutes, stirring often. Remove from heat and allow mixture to cool to room temperature.
2. Transfer the mixture to a food processor and puree until smooth. With the processor running, slowly add the vinegar.
3. Pour into a sterilized jar with a tight lid. This sauce will keep for 6 months when stored … Continue Reading
   

Melinda’s XXXtra Reserve sports a bright-as-fire orange color and a beautiful, thick consistency. Habaneros, carrots, lime juice, onions, vinegar, and salt make up this sauce, with a pepper seeds worked in throughout for texture and added flavor.

Despite the name, this sauce isn’t intensely hot. It’s warm for sure, but it isn’t going to send anybody rushing to cool things down. What it is, however, is a finely crafted sauce with a delicate balance of its ingredients and a substantially good flavor.

Melinda’s XXXtra Reserve tasted great on tortilla chips with nothing else. Continue Reading

Wake the Fuck Up Coffee – An unsettlingly large portion or my high school years were spent slumped, asleep on my desk. I’d roll out of bed, walk to school in my pajamas, find my homeroom and do my best to pretend that I was still in bed until lunchtime. All this could have been avoided if I’d only had a cup of Wake the Fuck Up Coffee in the morning.

Full disclosure: I’m not much of a coffee drinker so I brought in a local expert… coffee addict to help guide this review. Wake the Fuck Up Coffee comes in relatively normal packaging– a black foil lined bag that insures freshness. The label includes a drawing of a seriously caffeinated man and says the coffee will “put some lead into your pencil.” Continue Reading

Melinda’s Coffee BBQ Sauce – There’s an extremely complex set of tastes going on with Melinda’s Coffee BBQ Sauce. Being a coffee lover, I believe that coffee is a fine taste enhancer for just about anything, and barbecue sauce would have been high on my list of things to use it in. I wouldn’t have been wrong. Coffee is the perfect additive to a barbecue sauce, as Melinda’s Coffee BBQ Sauce very quickly establishes.

Melinda’s Coffee BBQ Sauce was inspired by the winning recipe in 2002 contest. It’s no wonder it was a winner. The complex tastes here are due to a wide range of ingredients that work well to enhance whatever meat you decide to barbecue with. Continue Reading

Nuckin’ Futs Hot Sauce – Besides having a really cool name, this sauce can boast about how hot it is. This is the sort of heat that die-hard hot sauce and chili heads like to brag about. Here’s the deal, though. This sauce is off the charts when it comes to heat. The pepper here is habanero, which we all know packs quite a punch, but the extract added to boost this famously hot pepper is what sends it over the edge. If you decide to give it a try, be prepared for a shot of heat that will bring you to your knees.

With this heat comes flavor. The very first thing you taste is the flavor. Continue Reading

Fork ‘n Halo Heavenly Hickory BBQ Sauce – There’s a fat pink pig in a red devil’s suit on the label of Fork ‘n Halo Heavenly Hickory BBQ Sauce, but something is dancing on my tongue and I don’t think the satanic swine is it. For clues, I look to the back of the label and the ingredient list: tomatoes, evaporated cane juice, molasses, red wine vinegar, honey, apple juice concentrate, salt, smoke flavoring, mustard powder, smoked Spanish paprika, onion, garlic, chipotle pepper, black pepper, and xanthan gum.

At the outset, I’m ruling out the xanthan gum. Continue Reading

Joe Perry’s Mango Peach Tango Hot Sauce – I’m tempted to say that Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Mango Peach Tango Hot Sauce is as hot as his playing, but the truth is that I’m not the world’s biggest Aerosmith fan. In fact, I wish they’d just break up already without all the rehab drama. So I’m not going to make any musical comparisons and the only thing I’ll say about Joe Perry himself is that he makes a damned fine hot sauce.

The original Boneyard Brew flavor of Perry’s is a bit hotter than its follow-up, Mango Peach Tango, but I suppose that’s to be expected, considering the additional fruity flavors in this product. Continue Reading

Mad Dog BBQ Sauce – In the world of commercial barbecue sauce, there are the dozen or so major brands that take up all the space on the supermarket shelves, then there are the hundreds, perhaps thousands of small independent manufacturers whose sauces are sold in specialty stores or perhaps only online. Mad Dog bridges these two worlds. It’s probably one of the largest if not the largest of the smaller brands and is well known and highly regarded by much of the public.

How does a smaller brand get to play with the big boys? It helps to be super delicious and have award-winning quality. Mad Dog’s recipe is pretty simple – Continue Reading

Blair’s Ultra Death Sauce with Jersey Fury – The sauce doesn’t even sound like it plays nice. I’ve had plenty of Blair’s ultra hot sauces. There are enough of them, believe me: Blair’s Mega Death Sauce with Liquid Rage, Blair’s Original Death Sauce, Blair’s Pure Death with Jolokia, and now Blair’s Ultra Death Sauce with Jersey Fury.

Just what the hell is Jersey Fury anyway?

Like all of the Blair hot sauces, this is over-the-top hot. It’s dangerous, simple as that. Blair sauces also have the distinction of tasting great on top of the heat. There are no preservatives, which truly does shine through when you taste the sauce. Continue Reading

Ole Ray’s Blackberry Wine Barbecue and Cooking Sauce – Lord, give me mercy. That’s what I said when I opened this bottle and put a spoonful of this in my mouth. This is fine dining, gourmet, Heaven-on Earth eating. The chicks will moan, the guys will say, “Oh yeah.” I’m not exaggerating. You’ll find reasons to cook with this stuff.

Is it a great barbecue sauce? Yep. But it’s so much more than that. Ole Ray has managed to whip up a batch of Nirvana in a bottle. It starts with blackberry jelly (that’s what I said),  corn syrup, sugar, and fruit pectin. There’s also some tomato puree. Continue Reading

Marie Sharp’s Habanero Pepper sauce – I’m a big fan of Marie Sharp’s products. The Marie Sharp’s factory is located in the Mayan Mountains. This is where the ingredients for the products are cultivated, and baby, are they fine. The ingredients are always fresh when the product is produced. it shows. The habaneros used in this sauce are particularly hot. The beautiful flavor of the habanero shines through here at about three times the normal flavor level. I’m not sure what the process is, but whatever they do to make this sauce, it sings.

In addition to the fine red habaneros used, ingredients include lime juice, garlic, salt, vinegar, and a healthy carrot base that provides a lot of the color. Continue Reading

Roadhouse Southern Sunset Bar-B-Que Sauce – This is an absolutely classic bar-b-cue sauce with some additional things going on that give it character beyond the classics. Vinegar, cider vinegar, sugar, tomato puree, molasses, peach juice, onion, apricots, garlic, paprika, lemon juice, salt, cayenne pepper, crushed red peppers, and some extra spices make up the delicate balance of this sauce.

The sauce has a consistency a little shy of thick, which makes it perfect not only as a barbecue sauce, but as a dip or marinade as well. There are pieces of ingredient throughout, which helps provide a cling factor during the cooking process. Continue Reading